I am living my most challenging week, since I started the Masterkey course in September. I have been through the process, with a lot of ups and downs, but now, since the introduction of the Hero’s journey, things are getting really hard. The Sunday webinar was difficult for me. I realized many important things about myself, that I did not know. The daily meditation helped me a lot to understand better what’s going on, right now.

I have a lot of resistance on thinking about death. I understand that the purpose here is to make us use our time on Earth the best way, without wasting it, as Og Mandino writes on Scroll V. I get this. I also find it absolutely true and motivating. I like reading this Scroll. The problem I have is to put a date for my own death, as requested in the last webinar. I am not at ease with that. I also refuse to think about the death of the persons I love most (family, friends). I am not ready to face that. I am scared. Fear is present in me and is disturbing my path, especially this week. I know that I still have a lot of work to do. I have also noticed that reading the obituaries, that we had to do some weeks ago, annoyed me a lot. I did not like this « exercise ». So, again, a sign of resistance from me. Interesting to notice and to observe…

I saw the movie « Finding Joe »: how inspiring! I think that everybody should see it…such an eye opener movie. I became emotional, when I recognized some elements of my personal journey. I received the call in 2012. During that year, everything in my life started to become difficult, everything went in the wrong direction, without control from my side. I got the message, I replied to the call from the Universe. I had the courage to take a life changing decision: I quit my job as lawyer at the European Commission, a career in the European Institutions that many covet. In the past, I passed a difficult competition and I worked there for 11 years. I even left my home country, Italy, my family and friends in Cuneo, to get this job in Brussels. After the University, I was enthusiastic to live abroad and I wanted to travel. I met my husband and had my beloved children. I realized everything I wished for, but in 2012, I understood that I was unhappy, especially in my professional life. So, I quit, to the surprise of my boss and colleagues. Actually, many persons are unhappy in this kind of job, but they find themselves trapped in a « golden cage », where they feel stressed, frustrated, but, as they have financial security, they simply adjust to that toxic environment. In fact, I observed that, year after year they become sad, cynic and depressed. They just wait for their retirement. They have been living a life of quiet desperation, as Mark J. would say.

I do not want to become like this. I want to enjoy every second of my life, I want to feel joy and happiness! I want to be a present mother to my kids, and my new life is giving me precisely that. How lucky I am! I feel so grateful. So, here I am: I started the business of Yoga, that I teach with a lot of passion and love. I am in the process of developing my artistic skills to do more exhibitions of my paintings. The Masterkey course is leading me even further in achieving my dreams and my dharma. So, why do I feel so strange now? I think that fear is coming back, stronger that ever.  In « Finding Joe », it is represented by a dragon. I know I have to face it. I am battling, I am struggling. It is paralyzing me, making me skip some assignments here and there, or making me feel discouraged when I have to implement my Plan of Action…I guess that I have to go out of my comfort zone and that’s scary. I am scared of my own power. This week, I even got sick…my body is weak, it was never the case before. So, it shows me how strong that feeling can be and how much it can impact my body and mind. Haanel describes the effect of fear on the body in a very realistic way. I feel exactly like that…

Let’ see how it develops.

Thank you for reading and for being in this journey with me.